Self Sabotage

Vifquain, Sam Blake

Undergraduate Honors Thesis

Self Sabotage Public Deposited

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Citeable URL: https://scholar.colorado.edu/concern/undergraduate_honors_theses/zp38wf016

Abstract

This thesis project has been a perfect combination of my two studies: psychology and creative writing. Upon first enrolling at the University of Colorado Boulder, I had only realized psychology as a field of interest, and writing was a simple passion of mine- a basic means of expressing myself in a time where I needed to find my voice. However, since then, not only have I pursued this passion in the form of an additional major, but I have also used it to refine and better my voice, being able to tell stories that were more than just for my own muse. I discovered that a lot of the things that drew my curiosity were the darker corners of our minds that we tend to flinch away from. Feelings of anger, insecurities, self discrepancy, self destruction. These are aspects of humanity, and we’ve all faced them in some form or another. Yet, due to the stigma surrounding mental health within a culture that perpetuates happiness, we tend to let these emotions, these factors of life, fester and go ignored. I’ve fallen victim to this same mentality, and it’s where that need for a voice was born. Being able to study psychology, educate myself on our own minds, and apply that through art have allowed me to explore these uncomfortable topics in a healthy and open manner. Combined with the usual tropes, and some underutilized ones, of the horror genre, I’ve been able to create a wide range of pieces that focus on this self sabotaging and maladaptive nature of our own emotions and insecurities. Through this creative thesis, I hope to create a robust portfolio that many can turn to as a way to think about these uncomfortable feelings. I hope that this project can utilize the power of literature to open up discussion and allow for the exploration of the hardships that dwell within us all.

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