Two-dimensional $p+ip$ superconductors and superfluids are systems that feature chiral behavior emerging from the Cooper pairing of electrons or neutral fermionic atoms with nonzero angular momentum. Their realization has been a longstanding goal because they offer great potential utility for quantum computation and memory. However, they have so far eluded experimental observation both in solid-state systems as well as in ultracold quantum gases. Here, we propose to leverage the tremendous control offered by rotating two-dimensional trapped-ion crystals in a Penning trap to simulate the dynamical phases of two-dimensional $p+ip$ superfluids. This is accomplished by mapping the presence or absence of a Cooper pair into an effective spin-1/2 system encoded in the ions’ electronic levels. We show how to infer the topological properties of the dynamical phases, and discuss the role of beyond mean-field corrections. More broadly, our work opens the door to use trapped-ion systems to explore exotic models of topological superconductivity and also paves the way to generate and manipulate skyrmionic spin textures in these platforms.